the fifth day

an extremely relaxed napping hippopotamus

I need a nap and also another nap

TOPICAL: this is part of The Cycle of the Seasons series


I’m tired. I’M SO TIRED. Not exhausted, not so tired that my executive functioning is totally gone, but tired. It is not easy helping tp keep this ship afloat some days, and today was one of those days.

A lot of scooting people around to do different things needed to happen today, and one has to be careful about doing that, because every person has their own ways of dealing with stress and sometimes they deal with it by saying ‘yes’ to everything, just in case, please don’t be mad at me. And I don’t want to create a situation where that coping mechanism kicks in.

I think we did okay; there are still extra dirty dishes that need doing, and the laundry isn’t getting done today, and we haven’t unpacked all the packages that have come in the mail. But we made it, we all had food to eat, we stayed warm, and even the toddler — who had a massive meltdown this afternoon — got his naptime that he desperately needed.

I had plans for some reading and maybe watching a movie, but with my in-between-things idle time I played Stardew Valley or updated the project task list statuses. And I took several very small ten or fifteen minute naps while I was waiting for dinner, because sitting on my comfy warm bed with ASMR in my earbuds practically sang to me the song of napping.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I just need to remind myself to go to bed early tonight because that would be a really nice thing to do for me. And I deserve thoughtfulness like that.

May there be a bank error in your favor, or at least a pocket of time that opens up unexpectedly like a gift and you can just relax a bit. And maybe get a nap.

— Nix


Our days traditionally begin at sunset. The darkness is all around us but we are safe here together inside these walls that we have fortified with love and with sacrifice.

featured image is a photo by Tim De Pauw on Unsplash

Nix Kelley
Co-parent to multiple kids. Writer. Death doula. Member of the Order of the Good Death. Seeker on the Path of Light. Queer, non-binary, & trans.

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