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the Infinite

queer identity, death, hope, praxis, song lyrics, and sometimes hubris
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Ash cat sitting in the catio in the sunshine
a Traveling Dragon/Letters/on Chosen Family/on Dramas I've Watched/the Cycle of the Seasons

letters to my family: I

I hope you know that every experience I have is immediately filtered into a list of things I want to tell you about.

how can we know how precious it is
a Traveling Dragon/on Mental Health/on Queerness/the Cycle of the Seasons

how can we know how precious it is?

Right now it is June, and I must dance through this month even if it tries to kill me, because I am here, and we are here, and we should live as our brilliant b...

with an everlasting love
on Chosen Family/on Grief/on Hope/on Love/Poems/the Work

with an everlasting love {poem}

Sometimes there is pain layered into love but that does not make it any less true.

a dark sky with clouds and a rainbow arching down from left to right. there are some tree tops at the bottom of the image.
on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Grief/on Hope/on Mental Health

because our choices led us here

I don't know what to say, really, except that this is so incredibly hard and none of us know how to get through it, not really.

strands of yellow bright light swirled together across a black background
on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Grief/on Love

dissolving into Light: even the least of these

I think I'm learning that even experiencing a Mystery does not mean it can be fully comprehended. The only thing we have is what we noticed, what was revealed, ...

photoshoot of eight members of Stray Kids, all wearing black
on Happiness/on Hope/on Queerness/Ten Things

ten things: an earthquake and the joy of fandoms

Maybe that's the best outcome of going places I've never been before. Discovering how easy it is to love the beautifulness and culture and sound of a place I've...

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hi, I'm Nix

The sidebar got too big so I moved all my words about me to a page: who is Nix?

want to follow me around?

I have a secure group chat on Signal! I use it to send messages sometimes, a few photos, song links, audio recordings, short videos, links to essays or posts I write here, and other foolishness. You'll be able to emoji react to what I post (like an Instagram broadcast channel), and if you want to respond to something you can message me separately if we're following each other there.

Here's the link to the group chat so you can request to join: a Traveling Dragon group chat on Signal

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:

CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

I am using MyDramaList now! Here's my MDL profile and my MDL watchlists. I recommend looking at my 2025 watchlist to see what I've watched already and what's on my massive personal wishlist for the year.

... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© 2025 the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
who is Nix?