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the Infinite

queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics
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on Praxis

I don’t want to be a big deal on the internet

Posted on November 15, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a person with two arms raised in a crowd, making a heart shape with both hands

I want to be able to stand before my gods before I pass into the sunlit lands and not be ashamed of who I was. I want to leave the place better than I found it.

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on Harm & Reciprocity/on Praxis

the math of harm

Posted on November 10, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 2 Comments
written in white chalk on pavement are the words 'TOGETHER WE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD'

Doing the math of harm doesn’t mean that I get to disconnect myself from my choice once I’ve made it.

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on Chosen Family

chaotic weirdo

Posted on November 8, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a person with aluminum foil obscuring their face, with hands on both sides of their face, in multicolored light

If you’re wondering if I have some sort of requirement to inject some Tolkien into almost everything I do, maybe that’s My Brand.

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on Chosen Family/on Praxis/the Cycle of the Seasons/the Work

I am home

Posted on November 1, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

…no matter how long the night, the day will come. The light will return. There are always things to fear; and there is always hope.

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on Hope/on Praxis

a fire sale, if I had things to sell

Posted on October 29, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
tilt-shift view of feet in sneakers, presumably belonging to people sitting atop a stone wall

What I could do, though, was witness it. So that someone was there and you weren’t alone.

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on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Hope/the Work

decolonizing death, part one of many

Posted on October 15, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment
a dark path lined by trees, looking toward a break in the horizon bright with sunshine

I am doing my best to find the most harmonious way to hold my candle in the darkness so that you can see it and find me, bringing your own light, so that we have more light together.

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Hi, I'm Nix!

I am a genderqueer non-binary trans person. I've trained as a death doula and am preparing to be able to do work in the future as a deathworker and griefworker. I write about death and death-adjacent things fairly often.

I am also a practicing pagan, training in the Path of Light tradition under my elder in Renewal Coven. It is an oathbound lineaged mystery tradition, and I write here about my experiences in my learning and growth from time to time.

I'm also part of a chosen family, a family I chose to be part of, which I also love to write about here.

My current special interests include music and song lyrics, kpop, K-dramas, C-dramas, reading queer fiction, and shitposting on any social media account I have available to me.

FIND ME AT:
Mastodon -- @nixkelley
Bluesky -- @nixkelley
Instagram -- @nixveritas
Threads --@nixveritas
FB Page [ew ugh gross] -- @phoenixveritaskelley

MESSAGE ME:
Matrix -- @nixkelley
Signal -- @nixkelley.78
Whatsapp -- 17343860537
LINE -- nixkelley

selfie of a pale person with dark hair, black glasses, piercings, and a tattoo, wearing a black shirt and turquoise earbuds.

SUBSCRIBE AND GET AN INBOX FULL OF WRITING!!!

  • Divination
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  • on being Exvangelical
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  • on Co-Parenting
  • on Deathwork & Griefwork
  • on Decolonizing
  • on Dramas I've Watched
  • on Generational Trauma
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  • on Rage
  • Poems
  • Ten Things
  • the Cycle of the Seasons
  • the Pandemic
  • the Work
  • WTAF

CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

Abyss, a K-drama on Netflix

The King: Eternal Monarch, a K-drama on Netflix

Love Game in Eastern Fantasy, a C-drama on Viki & Netflix

I have a bunch of other dramas I'm cycling through but these are the ones I'm watching more of right now.

Nix Kelley 🍉

nixveritas

#Genderqueer 🏳️‍🌈
#Neurospicy & #AuDHD 🦊
#DeathDoula: deathworker & griefworker 🖤
Seeker on the Path of Light 🌕
Order of the Good Death ⚰️
australia adventures 🦘 1: full moon in a dark australia adventures 🦘 1: full moon in a dark sky, surrounded by gum trees and breezes Only in silence the word, Only in dark the light, Only in dying life: Bright the hawk's flight On the empty sky. —The Creation of Éa Ursula K. Le Guin #FullMoon #AustraliaAtNight
australia adventures 🦘 this is red clay and gu australia adventures 🦘 this is red clay and gum trees and other types of flora that I haven't learned the names of yet. an overcast day with cooler air and many MANY birds loudly calling and talking to one another. I didn't realize how sarcastic crows can sound. 😂 1: the view of trees, small bushes, and red dirt where the birds usually congregate. 2: another view of gum trees with a glimpse of a blue towel hanging on the line to dry. today I had a difficult experience with temperature regulation and I'm having to treat myself extremely carefully. a heat-related flare drains almost all my energy, and once I begin to come out of it I'll be shaky and disoriented, plus bonus crying that comes from the deep grief of being a disabled person who needs help -- when I neither want to be disabled *or* want to need that much help or intervention. I know it's okay for my community to do care work for me, and I do care work for them too, but it's so hard on days like this. but it's beautiful here even when it hurts. 🖤 #australia #AustraliaAdventures #NoKangaroosYet
australia photo dump 🦘 1: waxing gibbous moon australia photo dump 🦘 1: waxing gibbous moon & one single star in the dark night of the southern hemisphere (the night air feels amazing) 2: IT'S ME in our motel room where Bee & I stayed for a few days in a wee adorable town after we arrived at our AU Base; I'm smiling and my tattoo is visible; behind me is the half-shaded window full of light with greenery outside 3: I converted to the church of nescafe instant cappuccino in Ireland and it's just. delicious. this photo is before I drank it all lol 4: a giant pastry filled with apples and REAL CREAM, in a lovely bakery in Bendigo; no I could not finish it, but I tried 5: some of the small town storefronts seen through the window while we waited for a bit of breakfast; very US wild west looking architecture here and there 6: breakfast! scrambled eggs in a ramekin with a spoon, toast with marmalade, and real actual bacon; not pictured is the toast I bravely spread with Vegemite and managed to eat most of 7: a blurry video of the in-flight live map showing the flight path from DFW to Sydney; a long-ass flight over the Pacific and beyond I keep forgetting to take more pictures, but that's partly because I'm still getting used to the heat and how it ebbs & flows through the day. right now I am in my cozy tent (it's a canopy tent that's like a little square room all my own, with luggage and a real bed and various things arranged around) waiting to feel sleepy enough to go to bed. I'm listening to music and feeling the breeze, and seeing the moon on my way into the house to the bathroom made me want to stay up all night and just look at the stars. I never thought I'd get to see the night sky in the southern hemisphere. this all by itself, just that photo of the moon, is a gift I will hold close to my heart as long as I live. #australia #MaybeNextTimeSomeKangaroos
just picked up my coffee cup and the coffee was GO just picked up my coffee cup and the coffee was GONE because I already drank it RIP
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... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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