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the Infinite
queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics
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Category: on Queerness

a rainbow flag hangs from the metal balcony of a brick building
on Chosen Family/on Hope/on Queerness

on #NCOD

Posted on October 11, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

I’m not any binary of any kind; my gender is myself, which doesn’t — for me — need a word or phrase to describe it. It’s enough that I know that it’s my truth.

a three panel comic of a yellow bird and a purple computer chair. in the first panel, the bird says 'I can finally fix my posture in this new chair'. in the second panel, the bird sits in the chair and says 'ahh so comfy. let's play a bit'. in the third panel, the bird is sitting across the seat with legs in different directions; a caption reads '~40 minutes later~'.
on Chronic Illness/on Happiness/on Hope/on Neurodivergence/on Queerness/the Pandemic/the Work

this is all about me: I have become older

Posted on August 23, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

I have had a whole year to be forty-three, and I think it mostly went well. Forty-four is a weird number and I am looking at it with squinty suspicious eyes.

the end of a rainbow emerging from storm clouds over fields
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Queerness/the Pandemic

I want to love Pride month

Posted on June 2, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

I want accountability. I want change. I want rainbows that remind us to smile and recall how much we love each other, not rainbows that are held up in defiance ...

in a crowd at a peaceful protest gathering, a person in a white face mask and dark hair with glasses holds a sign that reads 'GOD IS NON-BINARY'
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Queerness

queer people deserve deathcare

Posted on May 23, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 1 Comment

We are always grieving someone else, angry at another loss, raging at the injustice that the most vulnerable of us are always facing.

in a dim foggy light, a small winding river is lined with tall grasses and snow-frosted pine trees
on being Exvangelical/on Chronic Illness/on Generational Trauma/on Praxis/on Queerness

can you see in the dark?

Posted on November 3, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

You aren’t alone; but the more alone you believe that you are, the more your messiah complex will be able to dictate your feelings and choices.

interior photo of a room that is old and beginning to fall apart. the paint and wallpaper are peeling and there are broken wooden slats in the floor.
on Chronic Illness/on Decolonizing/on Generational Trauma/on Mental Health/on Queerness/the Pandemic

I’m problematic

Posted on October 14, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

What’s almost over? What’s just begun? What are we praying for? Where are we going? Let’s follow someone else’s instructions and fly this planet right into the ...

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Hi, I'm Nix!

I am a genderqueer non-binary trans person. I've trained as a death doula and am preparing to be able to do work in the future as a deathworker and griefworker. I write about death and death-adjacent things fairly often.

I am also a practicing pagan, training in the Path of Light tradition under my elder in Renewal Coven. It is an oathbound lineaged mystery tradition, and I write here about my experiences in my learning and growth from time to time.

I'm also part of an intentional community, a family I chose to be part of, which I also love to write about here.

My current special interests include music and song lyrics, kpop, K-dramas, C-dramas, reading queer fiction, and shitposting on any social media account I have available to me.

FIND ME AT:
Mastodon -- @nixkelley
Bluesky -- @nixkelley
Instagram -- @nixveritas [request to follow]
Threads --@nixveritas

MESSAGE ME:
Matrix -- @nixkelley
Signal -- @nixkelley.78
Discord -- @nixkelley
Whatsapp -- +66 92 593 9073
LINE -- nixkelley


SUBSCRIBE AND I'LL BE IN YOUR INBOX


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.


DRAMA WATCH HISTORY THIS MONTH:

Watching --
Never Let Me Go, on Viki
Between Us, on iQiyi
Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart, on iQiyi
Boys in Love, on iQiyi (currently on air)
Naughty Babe, on iQiyi
Perfect 10-Liners, on GMMTV YouTube
Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat, on GMMTV YouTube
Dead Friend Forever, on iQiyi

Rewatching --
Love In The Air, on iQiyi
LoveSick 2024, on iQiyi

Finished --
Love In The Air [rewatch], on iQiyi
Love In The Air: Special Episode, on iQiyi
Our Dating Sim, on Viki
See Your Love, on iQiyi
Fish Upon the Sky, on iQiyi
Hidden Agenda, on GMMTV YouTube

MyDramaList profile; MyDramaList watchlists


... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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