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the Infinite
queer identity, death, hope, praxis, song lyrics, and sometimes hubris
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Category: on Praxis

a child reaching through a hole in a wall, stretching out an arm and making eye contact with the camera
on being Exvangelical/on Decolonizing/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Praxis/the Work

I could only lead you so far

Do you know what it feels like to be believed in? Have you experienced the incredible fortune of knowing that you matter?

a rusted car in front of a concrete block structure, all covered in climbing vines and other flora
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Praxis/the Pandemic

apocalypse of the self

This is a reckoning that has needed to happen ever since the first harm was done. This is a chance to do it better this time.

an old barn with fading red paint beside a large tree, against a midwest summer stormcloud background
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Praxis/the Pandemic

on apocalypses

And we keep waking up every day, doing stuff, maybe doing more stuff, looking for the things that might comfort us, asking the world for meaning, and then we li...

two brown hands holding a heart-shaped stone carved with the word 'Hope'
on Hope/on Praxis

hoping our way into the future

Try to remember what hope feels like. Try to believe that hope matters, even while the future is uncertain.

oak trees silhouetted against a summer sunset
on Chosen Family/on Co-Parenting/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Neurodivergence/on Praxis

adventures in a chosen family

We do our best to balance the needs of the many against the needs of the few (or the one) — thank you Leonard Nimoy — and this means that sometimes, saying no w...

a four-panel webcomic featuring a mouse and a bird. in the first panel, the mouse says 'nothing is perfect.' in the second panel, there is a closeup of the bird who says 'what about the beauty of nature?' in the third panel, there is a closeup of the mouse, who says 'I AM nature.' in the fourth panel, the mouse says 'and yeah, I'm beautiful, but I make mistakes.'
on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Praxis/the Work

I tried so hard and got so far

I can do my best but that never means it’s going to have been enough to keep the monster under the bed from escaping so that it can’t eat anyone.

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hi, I'm Nix

The sidebar got too big so I moved all my words about me to a page: who is Nix?

want to follow me around?

I have a secure group chat on Signal! I use it to send messages sometimes, a few photos, song links, audio recordings, short videos, links to essays or posts I write here, and other foolishness. You'll be able to emoji react to what I post (like an Instagram broadcast channel), and if you want to respond to something you can message me separately if we're following each other there.

Here's the link to the group chat so you can request to join: a Traveling Dragon group chat on Signal


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

I am using MyDramaList now! Here's my MDL profile and my MDL watchlists. I recommend looking at my 2025 watchlist to see what I've watched already and what's on my massive personal wishlist for the year.

... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© 2025 the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
who is Nix?