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Category: on being Exvangelical

a POV looking downward at two feet on a sidewalk. the pavement is painted on the right with yellow arrows pointing downward, and scratched into the pavement above the feet is the phrase 'i tried'
on being Exvangelical/on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Generational Trauma/on Mental Health/on Praxis/the Work

great, this again.

Posted on May 16, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

Do you ever believe something about yourself so hard that even proof doesn't change your mind?

vandalized wall with hanging banner that reads 'we found love in a hopeless place'
on being Exvangelical

now that I’m found, I miss being lost

Posted on February 13, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

...it’s beautiful to be wholly yourself. And if there is a kingdom of heaven, it’s made of people who love one another.

a child reaching through a hole in a wall, stretching out an arm and making eye contact with the camera
on being Exvangelical/on Decolonizing/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Praxis/the Work

I could only lead you so far

Posted on October 2, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

Do you know what it feels like to be believed in? Have you experienced the incredible fortune of knowing that you matter?

a black and white photo of me as a baby on my mom's lap. she is looking at me and smiling, and I am laughing.
on being Exvangelical/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity

born into it

Posted on June 3, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

I can still remember eight or nine-year-old me, asking my dad a question that was heavy on my young heart, hoping for an answer that would help me: why do we do...

in a dim foggy light, a small winding river is lined with tall grasses and snow-frosted pine trees
on being Exvangelical/on Chronic Illness/on Generational Trauma/on Praxis/on Queerness

can you see in the dark?

Posted on November 3, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

You aren’t alone; but the more alone you believe that you are, the more your messiah complex will be able to dictate your feelings and choices.

a warmly saturated photo of an infant on the left being gently touched on the head by a toddler (me) on the right.
on being Exvangelical/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Mental Health

shake the dust

Posted on September 24, 2021 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

I think one of the only things I can teach my kids is how to shake the dust from their feet when leaving is what’s best.

Hi, I'm Nix!

I am a genderqueer non-binary trans person. I've trained as a death doula and am preparing to be able to do work in the future as a deathworker and griefworker. I write about death and death-adjacent things fairly often.

I am also a practicing pagan, training in the Path of Light tradition under my elder in Renewal Coven. It is an oathbound lineaged mystery tradition, and I write here about my experiences in my learning and growth from time to time.

I'm also part of an intentional community, a family I chose to be part of, which I also love to write about here.

My current special interests include music and song lyrics, kpop, K-dramas, C-dramas, reading queer fiction, and shitposting on any social media account I have available to me.

FIND ME AT:
Mastodon -- @nixkelley
Bluesky -- @nixkelley
Instagram -- @nixveritas [request to follow]
Threads --@nixveritas

MESSAGE ME:
Matrix -- @nixkelley
Signal -- @nixkelley.78
Discord -- @nixkelley
Whatsapp -- +66 92 593 9073
LINE -- nixkelley


SUBSCRIBE AND I'LL BE IN YOUR INBOX


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.


DRAMA WATCH HISTORY THIS MONTH:

Watching --
Never Let Me Go, on Viki
Between Us, on iQiyi
Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart, on iQiyi
Boys in Love, on iQiyi (currently on air)
Naughty Babe, on iQiyi
Perfect 10-Liners, on GMMTV YouTube
Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat, on GMMTV YouTube
Dead Friend Forever, on iQiyi

Rewatching --
Love In The Air, on iQiyi
LoveSick 2024, on iQiyi

Finished --
Love In The Air [rewatch], on iQiyi
Love In The Air: Special Episode, on iQiyi
Our Dating Sim, on Viki
See Your Love, on iQiyi
Fish Upon the Sky, on iQiyi
Hidden Agenda, on GMMTV YouTube

MyDramaList profile; MyDramaList watchlists


... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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