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Category: on Deathwork & Griefwork

a photo of the word 'memories', framed in white, lying with a spray of red berries and a white cloth on a dark knit blanket
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Mental Health

the things we forget on purpose

Posted on August 21, 2023 by Nix Kelley

Part of why I write here is to bleed off some of the pressure of the years of trauma and grief I've experienced, but it's so hard to write when it really hurts.

a photo of many lit candles in the dark
on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Hope/on Queerness

I am one with my queerness and my queerness is with me

Posted on June 1, 2023 by Nix Kelley

I love you, my siblings. My family. My dearest friends.

a POV looking downward at two feet on a sidewalk. the pavement is painted on the right with yellow arrows pointing downward, and scratched into the pavement above the feet is the phrase 'i tried'
on being Exvangelical/on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Generational Trauma/on Mental Health/on Praxis/the Work

great, this again.

Posted on May 16, 2023 by Nix Kelley

Do you ever believe something about yourself so hard that even proof doesn't change your mind?

three round hay bales in a foggy field
on Chosen Family/on Chronic Illness/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Mental Health/on Queerness/the Pandemic

I write what hurts my feelings

Posted on April 25, 2023 by Nix Kelley

The pain leads me to what is true.

people marching with many signs, including a large sign held by several people, white with black letters that reads "we who believe in freedom cannot rest" by Ella Baker
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Hope/on Queerness/the Work

fight like hell for the living

Posted on April 2, 2023 by Nix Kelley

It is never far from my thoughts that some of us have already said our last words to those who are beloved.

closeup of closed flower buds on a tree. the color is suffused with golden sunlight.
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Grief

the center of the circle

Posted on January 29, 2023 by Nix Kelley

You have no obligation to comfort others. You have space to grieve as much or as little as you can, in each minute and in each day. You do not need to hold emot...

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Nix Kelley
Nix Kelley
Genderqueer non-binary trans. They/them/theirs. Death doula, clergy-in-training, writing about queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics.
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I'm at the Pizza Hut, I'm at the Taco Bell
I am fully embracing the amazingness that is the interconnected Fediverse. I am also fully embracing that I am Old and still think Old Memes are funny.

@nixkelley@tech.lgbt -- main account!

@nixkelley@bookwyrm.social -- book updates & opinions about books

@nixkelley@pixelfed.social -- photos & images


  • on being Exvangelical
  • on Books I've Read
  • on Chosen Family
  • on Chronic Illness
  • on Co-Parenting
  • on Deathwork & Griefwork
  • on Decolonizing
  • on Generational Trauma
  • on Grief
  • on Happiness
  • on Harm & Reciprocity
  • on Hope
  • on Mental Health
  • on Neurodivergence
  • on Perimenopause
  • on Praxis
  • on Queerness
  • on Rage
  • Poems
  • the Cycle of the Seasons
  • the Pandemic
  • the Work
  • WTAF

I READ BANNED BOOKS

GENDERQUEER: a memoir (deluxe edition) by Maia Kobabe, read in one day in April 2023

We Do This Til We Free Us (audiobook) by Mariame Kaba, finished in May 2023

Be Gay, Do Comics, an anthology of queer comics, finished in June 2023

This Is How You Lose the Time War (audiobook), by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone, finished in one day in July 2023


We're each of us alone, to be sure. What can you do but hold your hand out in the dark?

Ursula K. Le Guin, The Wind's Twelve Quarters, Volume 1
remember who you are

The future cannot blame the present, just as the present cannot blame the past. The hope is always here, always alive, but only your fierce caring can fan it into a fire to warm the world.

Susan Cooper, Silver on the Tree
© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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