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queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics
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Category: on Chronic Illness

Eyjafjallajokull volcano eruption in Iceland
on Chosen Family/on Chronic Illness/on Decolonizing/on Happiness/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Neurodivergence/on Queerness

australia adventures: it’s okay to not be okay

Posted on January 14, 2025 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

I want to find the places where my soul belongs. I want to be in places that I love so much I will always miss them after I'm not there.

a young forest in a late afternoon light
Journal Entries/on Chronic Illness

november 7 journal: bring me a song

Posted on November 7, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

Maybe not all magic is meant to be understood.

a three dimensional web of green rope against a clay colored background
on Chronic Illness/on Mental Health/on Queerness/the Pandemic

fragments of self

Posted on May 30, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

The self that exists in meatspace and on the internet has become fragmented in a way that deeply upsets me.

three round hay bales in a foggy field
on Chosen Family/on Chronic Illness/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Decolonizing/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Mental Health/on Queerness/the Pandemic

I write what hurts my feelings

Posted on April 25, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 1 Comment

The pain leads me to what is true.

a comic in three panels. first panel is a mouse saying 'don't dwell on past mistakes.' second panel is a different mouse saying 'oh god...' third panel is the second mouse saying 'that's exactly what I did yesterday.'
on Chronic Illness

how to lose a bunch of writing time

Posted on January 19, 2023 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

cw: chronic illness experience I’ve had a fair amount of time now with my chronic illness diagnoses — my doctor has been very good at pinpointing what’s going ...

a three panel comic of a yellow bird and a purple computer chair. in the first panel, the bird says 'I can finally fix my posture in this new chair'. in the second panel, the bird sits in the chair and says 'ahh so comfy. let's play a bit'. in the third panel, the bird is sitting across the seat with legs in different directions; a caption reads '~40 minutes later~'.
on Chronic Illness/on Happiness/on Hope/on Neurodivergence/on Queerness/the Pandemic/the Work

this is all about me: I have become older

Posted on August 23, 2022 by Nix Kelley / 0 Comment

I have had a whole year to be forty-three, and I think it mostly went well. Forty-four is a weird number and I am looking at it with squinty suspicious eyes.

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Hi, I'm Nix!

I am a genderqueer non-binary trans person. I've trained as a death doula and am preparing to be able to do work in the future as a deathworker and griefworker. I write about death and death-adjacent things fairly often.

I am also a practicing pagan, training in the Path of Light tradition under my elder in Renewal Coven. It is an oathbound lineaged mystery tradition, and I write here about my experiences in my learning and growth from time to time.

I'm also part of an intentional community, a family I chose to be part of, which I also love to write about here.

My current special interests include music and song lyrics, kpop, K-dramas, C-dramas, reading queer fiction, and shitposting on any social media account I have available to me.

FIND ME AT:
Mastodon -- @nixkelley
Bluesky -- @nixkelley
Instagram -- @nixveritas [request to follow]
Threads --@nixveritas

MESSAGE ME:
Matrix -- @nixkelley
Signal -- @nixkelley.78
Discord -- @nixkelley
Whatsapp -- +66 92 593 9073
LINE -- nixkelley


SUBSCRIBE AND I'LL BE IN YOUR INBOX


CURRENTLY LISTENING TO ON REPEAT:


CURRENTLY READING:

I am on StoryGraph tracking my reading and the reading challenges I've joined. You can go to my StoryGraph profile if you want to see what kind of reading I'm doing right now.


DRAMA WATCH HISTORY THIS MONTH:

Watching --
Never Let Me Go, on Viki
Between Us, on iQiyi
Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart, on iQiyi
Boys in Love, on iQiyi (currently on air)
Naughty Babe, on iQiyi
Perfect 10-Liners, on GMMTV YouTube
Thame-Po Heart That Skips A Beat, on GMMTV YouTube
Dead Friend Forever, on iQiyi

Rewatching --
Love In The Air, on iQiyi
LoveSick 2024, on iQiyi

Finished --
Love In The Air [rewatch], on iQiyi
Love In The Air: Special Episode, on iQiyi
Our Dating Sim, on Viki
See Your Love, on iQiyi
Fish Upon the Sky, on iQiyi
Hidden Agenda, on GMMTV YouTube

MyDramaList profile; MyDramaList watchlists


... when Skywoman arrived here, she did not come alone. She was pregnant. Knowing her grandchildren would inherit the world she left behind, she did not work for flourishing in her time only. It was through her actions of reciprocity, the give and take with the land, that the original immigrant became indigenous. For all of us, becoming indigenous to a place means living as if your children's future mattered, to take care of the land as if our lives, both material and spiritual, depended on it.

-- excerpt from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

remember who you are

It is our suffering that brings us together. It is not love. Love does not obey the mind, and turns to hate when forced. The bond that binds us is beyond choice. We are brothers. We are brothers in what we share. In pain, which each of us must suffer alone, in hunger, in poverty, in hope, we know our brotherhood. We know it, because we have had to learn it. We know that there is no help for us but from one another, that no hand will save us if we do not reach out our hand. And the hand that you reach out is empty, as mine is. You have nothing. You possess nothing. You own nothing. You are free. All you have is what you are, and what you give.

-- excerpt from The Dispossessed: an Ambiguous Utopia by Ursula K. LeGuin

© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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