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all the things I wish that I could tell you. written by Nix Kelley.
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Category: on Generational Trauma

a POV looking downward at two feet on a sidewalk. the pavement is painted on the right with yellow arrows pointing downward, and scratched into the pavement above the feet is the phrase 'i tried'
on being Exvangelical/on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Generational Trauma/on Mental Health/on Praxis/the Work

great, this again.

Posted by Nix Kelley

Do you ever believe something about yourself so hard that even proof doesn't change your mind?

a dark-haired man with a mustache in a short sleeve white shirt is sitting on an old wooden manure spreader, holding the reins of a pair of auburn Belgian workhorses. a young child sits next to him turned away from the camera. another child faces the photographer with a big smile.
on Chosen Family/on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Generational Trauma/on Hope

the promises we inherit

Posted by Nix Kelley

One day, my descendants can rest in the shade of the trees I plant.

sapling with five red leaves on a forest floor
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Generational Trauma/on Hope

I’m your mother and your father

Posted by Nix Kelley

I want to love deeply without assuming that all the pain is mine to endure.

comic drawing of a fox, eyes closed, while wind blows leaves past, with the text 'it fucken wimdy'
on Generational Trauma/on Hope/on Praxis/the Cycle of the Seasons/the Work

the eighth day

Posted by Nix Kelley

SHOW ME ON THE TREE WHERE CHRISTMAS HURT YOU.

a pink paper heart ripped in the middle, hanging on a red and white striped wire against a black background
on Deathwork & Griefwork/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Hope/on Queerness

I dream of disappointing my mother

Posted by Nix Kelley

I had a bad dream which was trying to be a good dream, but it was a bad dream because none of it is true.

oak trees silhouetted against a summer sunset
on Chosen Family/on Co-Parenting/on Generational Trauma/on Harm & Reciprocity/on Neurodivergence/on Praxis

adventures in a chosen family

Posted by Nix Kelley

We do our best to balance the needs of the many against the needs of the few (or the one) — thank you Leonard Nimoy — and this means that sometimes, saying no w...

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Nix Kelley
Nix Kelley
Genderqueer non-binary trans. They/them/theirs. Death doula, clergy-in-training, writing about queer identity, death, hope, praxis, & song lyrics.

I'm at the Pizza Hut, I'm at the Taco Bell
I am fully embracing the amazingness that is the interconnected Fediverse. I am also fully embracing that I am Old and still think Old Memes are funny.

@nixkelley@calckey.lgbt -- this is my main account; if you follow this one, you should see updates from all the places I'm posting and interacting

@nixkelley@bookwyrm.social -- my book updates and opinions about books I've read/am reading

@nixkelley@pixelfed.social -- I'm posting photos and in the near future, stories, because they've been working on implementing that post type

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  • on being Exvangelical
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  • on Chronic Illness
  • on Co-Parenting
  • on Deathwork & Griefwork
  • on Decolonizing
  • on Generational Trauma
  • on Happiness
  • on Harm & Reciprocity
  • on Hope
  • on Mental Health
  • on Neurodivergence
  • on Perimenopause
  • on Praxis
  • on Queerness
  • on Rage
  • Poems
  • the Cycle of the Seasons
  • the Pandemic
  • the Work
  • WTAF

I READ BANNED BOOKS

GENDERQUEER: a memoir (deluxe edition) by Maia Kobabe, read in one day in April 2023

We Do This Til We Free Us (audiobook) by Mariame Kaba, finished in May 2023


We're each of us alone, to be sure. What can you do but hold your hand out in the dark?

Ursula K. Le Guin, The Wind's Twelve Quarters, Volume 1
remember who you are

The future cannot blame the present, just as the present cannot blame the past. The hope is always here, always alive, but only your fierce caring can fan it into a fire to warm the world.

Susan Cooper, Silver on the Tree
© the Infinite + Phoenix Veritas Kelley
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